spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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