strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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