I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
