Reggie can tackle my bush.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
