For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
