if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
