Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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