shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
There r osticjed everywhere
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
