Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
