Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
