So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
