I wannas sexs uuuuu
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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