There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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