Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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