Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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