Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
