So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
