we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
