I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
