We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
