drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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