I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
