the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
