ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
well you can't waste a boner
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
