Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
