He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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