between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
