yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Boobs are out for the taking
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
