Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
