I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
