my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
