There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize