so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
