I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize