i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
