He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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