She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You ruined the universe
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
