After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
