I love black thongs
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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