you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
