That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
