Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
