Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
