apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
