he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
