So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
