Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
