Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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