I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
