There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
