dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
