the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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