if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
