Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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