dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
