i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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