ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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