Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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