she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
