Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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