Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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