Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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