the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
