so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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