Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
