just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It all started with a game of naked twister.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
